My Youngest.

A ball of fire, and a tireless predatory female.

I have to admit it.  There are times she is way too cute to punish.  When she is the most angry, and she stomps off after the obligatory, “Yes, Suh!”, it is almost impossible to keep the smile off of my face.

She wants so badly to be as big as the eight-year-olds, and she can’t understand why we don’t always let her go with them.  She constantly runs up against the brick wall that is my wife, and gets so angry she can’t see straight.  Despite her frustrations, though, this child is the most clear about the best thing she has by living with us–her momma. 

She starts kindergarten this year, and I can’t wait to see how she does.  I do feel sorry for the boys, or at least as sorry as I can.  She is a tenacious flirt and is hopelessly enamored with whatever cute boy happens to be around at the time.  She does however swoon most for one of our middle-schoolers at church.  He takes it all in stride, and is wonderful with her. 

I struggle with trying to reign in some of her attachment to the boys, because it is so cute and generally harmless.  I do try my best to teach her appropriate ways to express herself and to convince her that “hugging” and “clinging” are not synonymous terms.  Still, her spirit and outgoing nature are to be admired, not limited.

I am so thankful that we have these children, but I feel especially blessed that the “baby” is a five-year-old, and not an infant.  She is exactly what I needed as my youngest.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

Bedtime.

I have to say that the biggest change around here is bedtime.  It is a great time of prayer and talking, but it also is usually a struggle.  Each of them has different ways of coping with the stress of the nightly “shutting down” process. 

Samantha organizes her stuff.  She never was a neat freak but now has a touch of OCD.  She can’t shut down until her belongings are accounted for.  That doesn’t necessarily mean her room is neat–but she definitely checks to see that everything is all there.

Jackson straightens up his room, then reads to himself until I come in to pray with him.  He usually has the physical ailments to report:  “It’s too hot”, “My throat hurts”, and “My nose itches” are the most common current themes. 

Maddie falls asleep in our bed until Brooklyn is asleep, but her complaints are straightforward.  “I’m not sleepy” and  ”I’m thirsty” get repeated often.  But she is out pretty quickly. 

Then there is Brooklyn.  This is her time to process all that has happened.  She is struggling with the situation and wants to be in control.  She gets up over and over until she is exhausted from the confrontations with Momma.  It’s so hard to know how best to handle the situation.  Later, eventually, FINALLY, she falls asleep. 

The funny thing is, there is something in all of this that is so common to the human experience. 

Our task is to embrace the rest offered by God.  Most of us never enter that rest until we are forced by sheer exhaustion to give up and let Him reign.  Like Jackson or Samantha, we spend countless hours worrying about material things that never really give us comfort.  Like Maddie, we act as though the rest is simply not necessary–until such time as we collapse from our own failures.  And, like Brooklyn, we want to be in control.  We don’t know why we aren’t content, we don’t know how to make it better, and we don’t want to surrender.  We wander about, refusing to acknowlege the obvious–that the we can’t fix it, that we don’t know what is best for us, and that if we will simply let it go, life will look much better in the morning.   

Dear Lord, help us to enter your rest.  Give us the strength to quit fighting the battles we can’t win and embrace the victories you have already secured for us.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Agape…

Chris

A Great Day.

We took the kids to Duncan today to visit with a family counselor who is the father of one of our great friends.  He had lots of helpful things to say to us, and lots of good things to say about the kids.  Afterwards, we took the bikes to the Oklahoma River to ride.  The trails are great and the kids had a blast!  Sam hurt her arm and puked up a lung, but she is ready to go again tomorrow.  We are expecting family to come into town tomorrow.  I am excited to get to spend some time with them.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

Thoughts on Love.

Camp was a great experience for me this year.  I think when you go to a place set aside for the glory of God for an entire week, and then spend the week studying the nature of God, you are likely to receive an abundance of spiritual blessings.  I certainly feel that was the case for me.

We studied the four loves (from Greek).  We talked about the first love (storge) that we learn from our families; and how God is our Father and disciplines us as sons and daughters.  We discussed friendship (phileo) that we learn as we develop common interests with others; and how God is a friend to those who share his interests.  We also talked about desire (eros) that we experience so strongly in this world with regard to things and people; and how God both desires us and wants us to desire him with the passion of David.  Finally, we discussed the active and Godly love (agape) that is discussed in I John 3 and 4; and how God loves us with action and expects our actions to reflect our love for Him and each other. 

That brings me to the key thought I had for the week.  The first three loves are described by C.S. Lewis as “natural” loves.  Actions based on those loves are responses to feelings.  But agape is different.  The source of agape is the image of God.  The actions of Christians are not merely responses to feelings, nor are they simply obedience to God’s commandment.  The actions based on agape are a product of who we are, and who we are becoming.  As we are transformed into the image and likeness of Christ, our actions reflect the change. 

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

So tired…

It’s 11:39, and the twins have just fallen asleep–only two hours after they were sent to bed for the last time.  Usually Jackson is asleep first, but he had a long and much needed nap this afternoon.  Brooklyn usually is the last to sleep.  She is the one with the most turmoil in her mind at this point.  She talked about not having any choice; but also admitted that she needed the adults in her life to do what’s best for her.  These kids are so smart–and so loving.  I am so thankful that we are the family God has chosen for them–and pray it is in His plan for this to be permanent.  Samantha is adjusting more everyday.  She is on an emotional roller coaster, but today really seemed to relish having a brother to wrestle and play with.  She is trying really hard to be a good sister, but I know it is a nagging fear of hers that this could be taken away. 

So I’m tired.  God blessed us with an awesome week of camp!  I can’t imagine a better transition environment. 

Have I mentioned I’m tired?  Church is so much more fun with four kids in the pew!  They ran around before and after service hugging everyone they remembered from camp, and they were really pretty good for the service.  Mellodie’s rule:  they only get up once during the service and no two go together to the bathroom. 

So I’m tired.  God has blessed me with abundant work right now, so I can pay for the half-beef that I bought from a friend, and hopefully pay off the freezer before 12 months no interest runs out. 

I guess I’m tired enough that I just seem to ramble on the page.  No matter.  I may be tired, but I am oh, so happy.

“The joy of the Lord will be my strength.“ 

 

It’s great to have a full quiver.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris