My Youngest.

A ball of fire, and a tireless predatory female.

I have to admit it.  There are times she is way too cute to punish.  When she is the most angry, and she stomps off after the obligatory, “Yes, Suh!”, it is almost impossible to keep the smile off of my face.

She wants so badly to be as big as the eight-year-olds, and she can’t understand why we don’t always let her go with them.  She constantly runs up against the brick wall that is my wife, and gets so angry she can’t see straight.  Despite her frustrations, though, this child is the most clear about the best thing she has by living with us–her momma. 

She starts kindergarten this year, and I can’t wait to see how she does.  I do feel sorry for the boys, or at least as sorry as I can.  She is a tenacious flirt and is hopelessly enamored with whatever cute boy happens to be around at the time.  She does however swoon most for one of our middle-schoolers at church.  He takes it all in stride, and is wonderful with her. 

I struggle with trying to reign in some of her attachment to the boys, because it is so cute and generally harmless.  I do try my best to teach her appropriate ways to express herself and to convince her that “hugging” and “clinging” are not synonymous terms.  Still, her spirit and outgoing nature are to be admired, not limited.

I am so thankful that we have these children, but I feel especially blessed that the “baby” is a five-year-old, and not an infant.  She is exactly what I needed as my youngest.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

Bedtime.

I have to say that the biggest change around here is bedtime.  It is a great time of prayer and talking, but it also is usually a struggle.  Each of them has different ways of coping with the stress of the nightly “shutting down” process. 

Samantha organizes her stuff.  She never was a neat freak but now has a touch of OCD.  She can’t shut down until her belongings are accounted for.  That doesn’t necessarily mean her room is neat–but she definitely checks to see that everything is all there.

Jackson straightens up his room, then reads to himself until I come in to pray with him.  He usually has the physical ailments to report:  “It’s too hot”, “My throat hurts”, and “My nose itches” are the most common current themes. 

Maddie falls asleep in our bed until Brooklyn is asleep, but her complaints are straightforward.  “I’m not sleepy” and  ”I’m thirsty” get repeated often.  But she is out pretty quickly. 

Then there is Brooklyn.  This is her time to process all that has happened.  She is struggling with the situation and wants to be in control.  She gets up over and over until she is exhausted from the confrontations with Momma.  It’s so hard to know how best to handle the situation.  Later, eventually, FINALLY, she falls asleep. 

The funny thing is, there is something in all of this that is so common to the human experience. 

Our task is to embrace the rest offered by God.  Most of us never enter that rest until we are forced by sheer exhaustion to give up and let Him reign.  Like Jackson or Samantha, we spend countless hours worrying about material things that never really give us comfort.  Like Maddie, we act as though the rest is simply not necessary–until such time as we collapse from our own failures.  And, like Brooklyn, we want to be in control.  We don’t know why we aren’t content, we don’t know how to make it better, and we don’t want to surrender.  We wander about, refusing to acknowlege the obvious–that the we can’t fix it, that we don’t know what is best for us, and that if we will simply let it go, life will look much better in the morning.   

Dear Lord, help us to enter your rest.  Give us the strength to quit fighting the battles we can’t win and embrace the victories you have already secured for us.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Agape…

Chris

A Great Day.

We took the kids to Duncan today to visit with a family counselor who is the father of one of our great friends.  He had lots of helpful things to say to us, and lots of good things to say about the kids.  Afterwards, we took the bikes to the Oklahoma River to ride.  The trails are great and the kids had a blast!  Sam hurt her arm and puked up a lung, but she is ready to go again tomorrow.  We are expecting family to come into town tomorrow.  I am excited to get to spend some time with them.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

Thoughts on Love.

Camp was a great experience for me this year.  I think when you go to a place set aside for the glory of God for an entire week, and then spend the week studying the nature of God, you are likely to receive an abundance of spiritual blessings.  I certainly feel that was the case for me.

We studied the four loves (from Greek).  We talked about the first love (storge) that we learn from our families; and how God is our Father and disciplines us as sons and daughters.  We discussed friendship (phileo) that we learn as we develop common interests with others; and how God is a friend to those who share his interests.  We also talked about desire (eros) that we experience so strongly in this world with regard to things and people; and how God both desires us and wants us to desire him with the passion of David.  Finally, we discussed the active and Godly love (agape) that is discussed in I John 3 and 4; and how God loves us with action and expects our actions to reflect our love for Him and each other. 

That brings me to the key thought I had for the week.  The first three loves are described by C.S. Lewis as “natural” loves.  Actions based on those loves are responses to feelings.  But agape is different.  The source of agape is the image of God.  The actions of Christians are not merely responses to feelings, nor are they simply obedience to God’s commandment.  The actions based on agape are a product of who we are, and who we are becoming.  As we are transformed into the image and likeness of Christ, our actions reflect the change. 

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

So tired…

It’s 11:39, and the twins have just fallen asleep–only two hours after they were sent to bed for the last time.  Usually Jackson is asleep first, but he had a long and much needed nap this afternoon.  Brooklyn usually is the last to sleep.  She is the one with the most turmoil in her mind at this point.  She talked about not having any choice; but also admitted that she needed the adults in her life to do what’s best for her.  These kids are so smart–and so loving.  I am so thankful that we are the family God has chosen for them–and pray it is in His plan for this to be permanent.  Samantha is adjusting more everyday.  She is on an emotional roller coaster, but today really seemed to relish having a brother to wrestle and play with.  She is trying really hard to be a good sister, but I know it is a nagging fear of hers that this could be taken away. 

So I’m tired.  God blessed us with an awesome week of camp!  I can’t imagine a better transition environment. 

Have I mentioned I’m tired?  Church is so much more fun with four kids in the pew!  They ran around before and after service hugging everyone they remembered from camp, and they were really pretty good for the service.  Mellodie’s rule:  they only get up once during the service and no two go together to the bathroom. 

So I’m tired.  God has blessed me with abundant work right now, so I can pay for the half-beef that I bought from a friend, and hopefully pay off the freezer before 12 months no interest runs out. 

I guess I’m tired enough that I just seem to ramble on the page.  No matter.  I may be tired, but I am oh, so happy.

“The joy of the Lord will be my strength.“ 

 

It’s great to have a full quiver.  

Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris

BIG CHANGES!

Mellodie and I have just taken guardianship of three children with intent to adopt.  There are legal hurdles and emotional struggles, but also lots of love, laughter, and a deep sense of Joy.  We now have three eight-year-olds and a five year old.  I can’t imagine what God has in mind for our future as a family, but find amazing peace in giving it over to Him.  It’s so much easier to do when you know you are in over your head. 

What a great blessing to be able to grow my family this way!  Regardless of hurdles, struggles, or outcomes, we are committed to praising God for His plan for us, and giving Him the glory!

Agape–with a healthy dose of Storge mixed in,

Chris

I Wonder What Kind of a Father David Was…

If Solomon were alive today, I wonder what he would look like.  Perhaps he would be covered in tattoos or piercings.  His writing is pretty “emo”. To hear him tell it in Ecclesiastes, he had “been there, done that, and had a massive collection of T-shirts“. 

What do we know about Solomon, anyway?  Sure, he was wise.  But what a tragic thing to be remembered for turning his heart away from God.  He was the son of David and Bathsheba.  His father had been a man after God’s own heart, but he had also been a man of many faults.  It seems that in some ways, Solomon was questioning everything his father believed.  Ironically, at the same time he was falling into every trap that had ensnared David.

 Clyde’s lesson today was about the molding of our children-a “twig-bending ministry”.  I was reminded what my mother said about children:  “When I was a young mother, I thought God gave parents a lump of clay to mold; by the time we had you, I realized God tossed down a chunk of granite for us to chip on until you turned eighteen”.  I think I am somewhere between the two views on the nature of parenting.  Sometimes I think I’m molding or bending, sometimes I know I need a chisel.  

I wonder what type of father David was. 

 It is amazing to me that David could be a man so close to God, and yet be the father of Amnon, Absalom and Solomon.  Amnon raped his sister, Tamar, Absalom killed Amnon and later would try to take his father’s kingdom, and Solomon would squander the favor of God and cause Israel to permanent split.  When Solomon was young, he showed such promise with his request from God for wisdom.  How could this young leader become the man with a thousand women and a heart that turned toward other gods?  Could it be that he lacked good parenting?

 David was so dedicated to God, yet his family was a mess.  I am mindful every day that our kids see our faults, and seem to follow those examples more consistently than the godly decisions we try to model.  I wonder if David sang and played the Psalms to his children when they were young.  I wonder if he taught them; or if he relied on his servants to handle the parenting.  I wonder if David died with regret about how his children-and grandchildren turned out.  God help us as we try to instill in our children the devotion for God that will shape their eternal destiny. 

Agape-or at least the best I can do,

Chris

What We Can Do…

 

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

                                                                                                          -Colossians 4:2-6

The theological debate between free choice and predestination is filled with all kinds of arguments with individual “proof text” scriptures.  In searching for practical application either side, I am drawn-or maybe simply choose to go-to Colossians for some insight.  Here’s what I come up with:

Regardless of the extent of our choice, we are to

• 1. Be prayerful, watchful, and thankful. This is a lifestyle we are to embrace, and it will lead us down a path toward the peace discussed in the previous chapter.
• 2. Ask God to open doors for the message. This assumes we are looking for the doors in the first place, not just cursing the walls.
• 3. Proclaim the Message. Speaking clearly, as if revealing a mystery-because that’s what we are doing.
• 4. Exercise wisdom in speech and action, especially toward outsiders. Remember the Miranda Rule. Anything you say (or do) may be used against Christ in the court of public opinion.  

Permit me to dwell on that last thought for a minute.  I have been so struck throughout my life by the nostalgia expressed by so many that the “church of Christ” was filled with people who “knew their Bible”.  I have never heard an outsider describe our fellowship this way.  I have talked to people with relatives who were part of our fellowship (one described her grandfather as the meanest man in her family-and the only COC).  My wife and I have been passed over as potential adoptive parents by birth mothers because of how someone from our fellowship had treated them.  This has happened at least three times.  Somewhere, somehow, “salt” was lacking in the speech of the brethren.  

Admittedly, it is often the negatives that stick out in my mind when I ponder our fellowship’s future. Yet I continue to worship within, and love the brotherhood.  I embrace the vision of restoration.  I am thrilled when I see the church reach out to the community with events in the park or hear someone discuss a teacher who is one of our members as being a loving, caring, and effective educator.  I am excited by the focus of our shepherds on the mission we have adopted as a congregation, and I dream of the day that the church of Christ is known by our love for each other.  

Until then, I want my life to reflect Christ through Paul’s admonition to the Colossians.  I won’t live up to it; and so the grace He extends to me I will try to pass on to all I encounter.  And while I trust in the sovereignty of God to guide our future, I see an exhortation to individual action by each of us.   

Agape-or at least the best I can do,

Chris

“When I’m Eight, All This Will Be Behind Me.”

  Remember not the sins of my youth
       and my rebellious ways;
       according to your love remember me,
       for you are good, O LORD.                                                     -Psalms 25:7

Samantha was sitting in the back seat riding home from church, and she was in trouble.  This time it was because she took lip gloss and smeared it in a teenage girl’s hair “just to see”.  We had taken a visitor to church-one of my students-and of course I wanted everything to go well.  Church was fine; it was my daughter’s behavior that was the problem.  The girl forgave Sam easily enough, but it grated on me severely.  Why does she do such things?  That was the question I asked her in the car.  “What is it with you?”

“I don’t know,” she said, “but when I’m eight, all this will be behind me“. 

Just when I shouldn’t laugh as a parent, I do.  How could I not see myself in such a clear assertion of confidence?  We all, in our own way, are waiting for the time that this-whatever “this” is-will all be behind us. 

I can’t wait to develop patience. 

I want to swear when I can’t control my tongue.

I am still attempting to find discipline I don’t have to work at. 

I don’t have time to pray about all the bad things I do when I’m not busy. 

I follow a budget perfectly until I’m out of money. 

When it comes to sin, I think I must still be young.  But someday, when I am old and 40, all this will be behind me.  After all, Sam turns eight in less than two weeks.  If she can work on such a short timetable, so can I. 

Of course, we all would be better off if we would let God reign, because He has promised to put everything behind us.  It’s just so hard for me to take Him at His Word.  Must come with maturity…

Agape-or at least the best I can do,

Chris

New Class Sunday Morning!

We are starting a new adult class on “Love” on Sunday Mornings.  It will run about seven weeks.  I will be teaching the lessons for this summer’s camp at Lujo.  Please come even if you are not going to camp.  The discussion helps us be more prepared for camp, and it is a worthy study for anyone wanting to understand “God is Love” more clearly. 

 Agape–or at least the best I can do,

Chris